Ducks: Queen of Frickin' Everything

TITLE: Hotbox
FANDOM: RPFS
AUTHOR: Ducks theantijoss
E-MAIL: ducksfanfic@gmail.com
DISCLAIMER: Megan Fox and Olivia Wilde belong to themselves. This is a work of pure fiction, and any resemblance to the real people beyond physical description has nothing to do with reality and is pure coincidence. None of the events in this story happened in real life... as far as I know.
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Megan Fox/Olivia Wilde (Wilde-Fox)
CONTENT WARNING: Sweaty girl on girl action, bad language
SYNOPSIS: Nothing goes right on the set of Megan's new movie, until something does.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask, and ye shall receive permission most likely. Ducks' Fanfic, and any archives related to ficathons, porn battles, and festivals where I post it are welcome!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Maybe this is the origin of the Mountain Ox Incident, which I totally didn't know about before writing this. Just pretend that they were in a movie together a while ago, and... oh, shut up. It's PWP, who cares?

Originally written for femslash_today's Fireworks '09: (Completely Not) Annual Porn Battle! Prompt: sweat
FEEDBACK: Is loved. Positive concrit offered in the spirit of helping a sister writer is heartily welcomed. Negativity will be soundly ignored. Squee is love. ;)

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( The director snarls rather than calls cut, and Megan has to drag herself back to her trailer, exhausted and sick from the tropical heat. Whoever called Hawaii paradise on earth had obviously never had to run half a mile 27 times wearing four-inch heels and a skintight evening gown through a jungle in the armpit of August. )

Let's not forget the principles this Country was founded on: Freedom, equality, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. And let's not forget how many people, in our own country and around the world, DO NOT HAVE THESE THINGS.

Enjoy your pig parts.

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You know, I'm so glad for my dad (rhyme!) getting his cataracts taken care of. He's very excited about how sharp and colorful his vision is, and I haven't seen him so happy about anything in quite a while. BUT JEEBUS H. TAPDANCING CHRIST ON A CRUTCH, why does the eye doctor NEVER see him after 9 am? WHY? WHHHYYYYYYYYYY?

I know, I got up at FUCKIN' A in the morning every day for years, but I never did it happily, and I never wanted to have to do it again. Eh, I'm just whiny because I couldn't sleep last night. The CPAP mask, which has been behaving fairly well of late (and now I just totally jinxed it) spent all last night pooting and farting and squeaking until I snarled at it and turned it off.

GRUMPY. MOAR COFFEE NAO.

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Fandom Meme Seen Here and There: Pass it on!

Give me a fandom (or 2 or 5) and I'll name:

Favorite character:
Least favorite character:
Character with the best hair:
Character with the best eyes:
Character with the best smile:
Character I'd most want to kiss:
Character I'd most likely have sex with:
Character I'd make lunch for:
Character I'd go singing in the rain with:
Character I'd go shopping with:
Character I'd go dancing with:
Character I'd take over the world with:
Character I most want to see more of:
Favorite pairing:
Least Favorite pairing:

Now post this in your journal!

Go ahead, gimme some.

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Okay, Weeds is the funniest fucking show I've seen in a good long time. Unfortunately, it also makes me sad that I have no weed. *sigh* It's also a really sad story. Good, but sad. And funny.

I'm about half through Season 2 now, and I think I have a new favorite show. I forgot to post this last night, I was so involved.

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FEMSLASH! F/F SLASH! HOT NAKED CHICK ON CHICK FANDOM ACTION! WHEE!

Sounds like an orgy at a con, doesn't it? *G*

Don't forget, today through Midnight on Monday:



BUT WAIT! NOW THERE'S EVN MOAR FEMSLASH! *jiggles. a lot* It's the:

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FEMSLASH!



Come on, ladies, let's show the ladies.... how to show... the ... other ladies? Some love.

Okay, look, I'm not a slogan writer, okay? ;) RITE MOAR FEMSLASH!

Now I'm off to write the completely random Megan Fox/Olivia Wilde RPF I'm working on. *G*

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Finally: PRETTY DRAGONS! You may pet them, they don't bite. Unless you ask nicely and buy them dinner first. ;) Also please pet Eggy, as s/he needs to grow into a female so I can breed her with one of the fellas. Oh my Goddess, I can't believe I'm breeding imaginary dragons. Oh well. It's not the weirdest thing I've ever done around here.

Happy Canada day to my (not too terribly) Northern Neighbors!

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You know a random fact about Eric Northman (on the show True Blood) that I adore? He is the tackiest fucking dresser in vampire history. No seriously. I mean, okay, Ricean vampires have velvet and frills or whatever, but dudes... Northman is all primary colored tank tops and shiny track suits. Hee. That it detracts not at all from his power or extreme hotness makes me very very happy in my pants.

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ANYWAY. So much fic fun going on this summer!



Woohoo! Hot girl on girl action, ya'll! Climb on into our handbasket! You know the girls just don't get enough girllove!

I'm still reading the Porn Battle VIII entries. Yowza!

I'm hoping to be able to hole up (heh.) in the basement this weekend and do nothing but write -- including some hot femslash, baby! Also original stuff, and work on my Kradam fic.

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Goinked from the lovely ladyoneill

( Where Do I Fall on the Klein Sexual Orientation Scale? )

That's how I've always identified, isn't it? LOL I think these days I'm a little closer to 4 than I used to be, but a past with exclusively het behavior (outside of childhood) sort of skews it.

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Hm. On one hand, this show looks hot. On the other, it leaves a sort of teen soap taste in my mouth that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to live with. Ah well, we'll see in September!











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Swiped from killerweasel: THE ENGERGIZER BUNNEH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!











HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My cats have fits like that. We just say they're "spazzing."

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"I'm not homophobic, I just don't like gay people!"

Hey, you know, everybody's entitled to their opinion and to make the rules for their own community, but if its a public, fannish community, you best be prepared for backlash if you're discriminating against a pretty substantial portion of many fandoms! My favorite example is how they shut down ALL submissions from Torchwood because it has teh GHEYS IN ITOMG! I've been told there are HET relationships in that fandom too! So... they're tainted because of their {big announcer voice} DIRECT CONTACT WITH TEH GHEEEEEYYYYYYZ.

I have little or nothing to do with vidding, but I know a lot of people who I like and respect are, and this is just... NOT ON! I mean, really, why is homophobia still so acceptable? Do we need to make up an "ism" in order for it to be a BAD thing? Okay, how about HOMOHATEISM? There, now can we get upset with people for it? Now can it get serious consideration in public discourse right along with other "isms"? I don't know why this made me so angry, but it really, really did. I mean, it's one stupid vid community that I'd never even heard of before the wounderous sockkpuppett pointed it out, but ON TOP of all the other indignities heaped on the LGBTQ community in recent days/weeks/months/years/decades, it just... ARGH!

Anyway, so... I can't do a damn thing about it accept urge my readers and friends NOT to submit to, vote on, or even publicly acknowledge the existence of this community beyond maybe spreading the word about its bigotry. Just because the owner says "No offense, it's just not to my taste," doesn't change the fact that it's HOMOHATEISM.

Feel free to join the boycott, but please, as pointed out in the post that started it all, http://mresundance.livejournal.com/643042.html, don't bother hating on the HOMOHATEIST. SHUN HIR/THEM. Much more effective in fandom. Oh! And for added interest (if you're interested at all) how about some historical context regarding the vidding community and exclusion of certain kinds of vids? http://morgandawn.dreamwidth.org/998147.html

Need a cure for that Hate? This video is the funniest, awesomest thing I've seen in a while, and SO APPROPRIATE! Fuck You Very Much! This song also makes me slightly less annoyed with Katy Perry.

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Well, that's it for today, kids. I have to take my dad for his SECOND cataract surgery at HOLY SHIT in the morning, so I'm off to shower and bed. SMOOCHIES!

Wait! I almost forgot to have you click on BJPinky (he's all grown up) and as yet unnamed dragonling!